Utterly Farcical Nonsense by

Order Terms and Conditions

This is Super Official and Devastatingly Legally Binding

Possibly. In any case, I’m sticking to it.

I started selling autographed copies of my books because people kept asking me for them. I handle all of the shipping and personalization myself, so there’s no faceless shipping department for you to abuse. Only a neurotic author with incredibly thin skin.

So here’s the deal:

  1. I’ll sign and ship any orders as quickly as I can, but it may take me a week or so.
  2. Books ship media mail through USPS. That takes a few days, so please be patient.
  3. I only ship to the continental US.
  4. I don’t do refunds. If you don’t like the books, you are welcome to burn them and send me a photo of the ashes. I promise to weep.

If you’re desperate to get rush shipping or live outside the continental US, send an email to orders@shooker.co. I’ll see what I can do.

I Appreciate Your Support

However, please don’t feel obligated to buy directly from me. I don’t have trouble paying my rent. I know I’m charging a lot more than retail. It’s for the scribbling and the trip to the post office.

I’d be just as pleased if you ordered a copy through your local bookstore, or from Black Spot Books, or from the online retail mega-giant of your choice. All orders help my sales figures, and your support through those channels is greatly appreciated (not to mention lighter on your wallet). But if you really want a copy defaced by yours truly, please proceed. I’m happy to do it.